It feels strange, being not quite a teenager and not quite an adult. 

I never thought that I would grow up so quickly. A moment ago I felt like I was a child, with no responsibilities and no care. Now I'm in charge of everything. The direction my life is heading, how it is heading, and why it is heading that way. As I'm posting this while in FOC (we're having a horror movie marathon now but being the scary cat I am, decided I couldn't take it and thus is trying to take my mind off it by blogging! I tried sleeping but to no avail sigh), I feel like so many things have changed for me. Being 17 is no joke. I feel old. I'm not old but it feels that way. I dont even want to imagine about how life will be for me 10 years down the route. Maybe in a blink of an eye, I'll be there. Time is passing way too quickly, people are growing up too fast, and life is too short. I'm 17, young, wild and free, and I intend to make every use of the youth I have now. I don't want to have to live to regret not doing the crazy and embarrassing things that I could do when I'm 17.

As each birthday passes by for me, I lose faith in the word, "birthday". Honestly, I always felt alone. Sure, there are people that never fail to delight me by birthday wishes, but there are also friends that I realized that I don't mean that much to them after all. I always asked, "Who am I to them?" 

This year, I thought it'll be the same. I was feeling disappointed as the minutes ticked by. But just half an hour ago, my dpa friends in another room in FOC called me up and sang happy birthday to me. And that's honestly the sweetest thing I need. 

And even though the person that means the most to me isn't able to reach me to wish me happy birthday, I know that he'll be sending his wishes to me, and I can feel them. And that makes me a lot happier :) 

I don't know how the rest of my day will go, but it doesn't have to be perfect. I just want it to be a good experience? The reason why I'm here at FOC is because I didn't just want to spend my birthday at home moping around because I had no one to go out with (yes that's the sad truth but I'm fine with it.), but instead I wanted to just experience something different. Hopefully I don't have to do this next year though, or else I'm seriously pathetic. 

Well well, this is going a lot like an emo post! Hehe honestly I'm just ranting on and on because I can't so anything else while I'm stuck in the movie room. But I think it's time to end this yeah? 

So yeah, happy 17th to me. 

It feels strange, being not quite a teenager and not quite an adult. 

I never thought that I would grow up so quickly. A moment ago I felt like I was a child, with no responsibilities and no care. Now I'm in charge of everything. The direction my life is heading, how it is heading, and why it is heading that way. As I'm posting this while in FOC (we're having a horror movie marathon now but being the scary cat I am, decided I couldn't take it and thus is trying to take my mind off it by blogging! I tried sleeping but to no avail sigh), I feel like so many things have changed for me. Being 17 is no joke. I feel old. I'm not old but it feels that way. I dont even want to imagine about how life will be for me 10 years down the route. Maybe in a blink of an eye, I'll be there. Time is passing way too quickly, people are growing up too fast, and life is too short. I'm 17, young, wild and free, and I intend to make every use of the youth I have now. I don't want to have to live to regret not doing the crazy and embarrassing things that I could do when I'm 17.

As each birthday passes by for me, I lose faith in the word, "birthday". Honestly, I always felt alone. Sure, there are people that never fail to delight me by birthday wishes, but there are also friends that I realized that I don't mean that much to them after all. I always asked, "Who am I to them?" 

This year, I thought it'll be the same. I was feeling disappointed as the minutes ticked by. But just half an hour ago, my dpa friends in another room in FOC called me up and sang happy birthday to me. And that's honestly the sweetest thing I need. 

And even though the person that means the most to me isn't able to reach me to wish me happy birthday, I know that he'll be sending his wishes to me, and I can feel them. And that makes me a lot happier :) 

I don't know how the rest of my day will go, but it doesn't have to be perfect. I just want it to be a good experience? The reason why I'm here at FOC is because I didn't just want to spend my birthday at home moping around because I had no one to go out with (yes that's the sad truth but I'm fine with it.), but instead I wanted to just experience something different. Hopefully I don't have to do this next year though, or else I'm seriously pathetic. 

Well well, this is going a lot like an emo post! Hehe honestly I'm just ranting on and on because I can't so anything else while I'm stuck in the movie room. But I think it's time to end this yeah? 

So yeah, happy 17th to me.