This blog is a documentary of my life. Although it may not be all glam and great, but I have my fun times too. And I would like to share it with you guys! The lessons I've learnt, the experiences I've had, and the life I've led. Stay if you want to know more about me! ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀

: sheryl, 16, 20.03.97, singaporean.
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"Nostalgia is a side effect of dying." - The Fault in Our Stars (John Green)

• Maybe
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• Gone but still here
• Finally 17
• NPP Journey
• A New Family
• Grades and results
• City of Shopping
• Holiday Adventures
• New Year Resolutions

Why am I still upset? 

I guess it was the high expectations of being in that group. I looked up to everyone in there, I grew attached to them and the group, and I imagined myself in there, for months and months. I guess I was being stupid, expecting something so desperately when it didn't even have a high chance of happening. The higher the expectations, the greater the fall. I took things for granted. I thought I would be lucky enough to at least get something I was comfortable with. I really really don't understand why I enter a group that I'm not the least comfortable with, one that I had a bad impression of, and know thy I'm not suited with. 

Please tell me that this is happening for a good reason, please. I'm really going crazy, not being able to do anything, not understanding why. I get depressed as fuck when I think about how I'm going to be in it for 3 years. True, maybe I don't know how it's really like. Yeah I think I will have a little fun, but I think I could have more in some other group, where I'll feel more at home. I can't face anything related to it anyone without that sinking feeling in my heart. 

Why can't I get over it? Maybe because somewhere, my instincts say this wasn't supposed to be. 

It'll get better right? 
I don't want to expect something good again and then just get crushed by reality.

If only I could do something, but powerless. 
I just have to face it head on. 

Why am I still upset? 

I guess it was the high expectations of being in that group. I looked up to everyone in there, I grew attached to them and the group, and I imagined myself in there, for months and months. I guess I was being stupid, expecting something so desperately when it didn't even have a high chance of happening. The higher the expectations, the greater the fall. I took things for granted. I thought I would be lucky enough to at least get something I was comfortable with. I really really don't understand why I enter a group that I'm not the least comfortable with, one that I had a bad impression of, and know thy I'm not suited with. 

Please tell me that this is happening for a good reason, please. I'm really going crazy, not being able to do anything, not understanding why. I get depressed as fuck when I think about how I'm going to be in it for 3 years. True, maybe I don't know how it's really like. Yeah I think I will have a little fun, but I think I could have more in some other group, where I'll feel more at home. I can't face anything related to it anyone without that sinking feeling in my heart. 

Why can't I get over it? Maybe because somewhere, my instincts say this wasn't supposed to be. 

It'll get better right? 
I don't want to expect something good again and then just get crushed by reality.

If only I could do something, but powerless. 
I just have to face it head on.